nostalgia stikes hard, memories flood minds in an instant. its like within split seconds, recollection takes place passively. i remember all that had take place over 4 forsaken years. the place looks identical, classroom is the same. with one foot into the class, replays of andrew chasing dean and i, fred running around the class taking pictures, people eating at one corner, overtakes my mind. before emotions overcome me, i kicked myself back into reality. all of those had past, wonderful memories it made, memories that are etched. walking towards the empty area which used to be my seat, i could almost visualise peanut shells on the floor, cards hidden under the table, along with other unorthodox stuff. fending off these thoughts, i stared at the floor like a lunatic looking for something which was once there but never to be exactly at the same location ever again. i feel a deep sense of loss, but mind boggling amount of memories that were made in that one classroom.

walking around the school, i feel at home once again. it had definitely been my home. a place i spent lots of time at. place where i shared sadness, happiness, craziness and what nots. fights, broken chairs, broken tables, smashed windows were all a part of the entire school called maris stella. i loved it and am still loving it. withholding tears with a smile on my lips, i feel happy yet sad. happy that i've made such good company, had so much fun. sad because this is a place i can never study in with the same group of people, with the exact same settings all over again. sinking into depression, i continue my walk around the school, finding nothing more than just emptiness at areas that used to be overflowing with laughter and shrieks. shrieks that i once wanted to shut off, laughter that i can hear no more. bleakness results. melancholic is an understatement.

people we see, people we meet. people die, going back into the ground.

it is only at times like this when we turn our heads back to scrutinise the trails we've left on the sandy path of our lives that we feel and get touched by the times when there were just more than one set of footprints beside those that you can immediately identify as yours.

so much had happened, so much had passed. i dont know if it'll ever all come back. nothing will be and can be the same again. we all grow, live our own life, die our different ways. whats there to be upset over?

desolation.

desperation for a re-enactment for the 4 years.

dejection i am facing.

what would i give for another time identical to that of those i've had? i have so much pent up emotions yet words of the world are unable to describe them, to give an account of the hole in my soul.

i was so bonded, so stuck onto the past that im unable to move forward. i compare, i judge, i contrast, never thinking that i am unworthy.






this is all i have to say.

my vein is held onto the place we gather


This is Pet's post ((:
Which is what we feel abt Maris Stella
Majority of the Marist i guess
Hahas
This morning when for LTC pre-camp
OUR GROUP IS CALLED wONdErPaNtS, is not we wan twit, is the VP la.
Actually is wonderbra one, but kena rejected
Rationale behind wonderbra? Well, coz we will always support U and nvr let U down ((:
U = ((:
Ok la, so its quite fun
MADE NEW FRENS hahas
So yea, thats all i guess
TOODOOS!

Spazzer ( :
saw a rainbow @ 10:36 PM